Hypothetical Question
by katiesparks
Summary: Ne, Aoko, I have a hypothetical question for you... Slight KA Oneshot
1. Chapter 1

"Ne, Aoko?" Kaito said suddenly during lunch one day.

Aoko looked up. "Yeah?"

"Hypothetically, what would you do if I left?" Kaito asked.

"Left?" Aoko questioned before taking a bite out of her bento.

"You know, just up and left, presumably forever, though I probably would come back..."

"Why, are you planning on going anywhere, Kaito? Because if you are I will tie you up so tight you'll never get free, even with all your tricks!" Aoko demanded angrily, moving as if to stand up and get to work on it.

"No, no, calm down, it's a **hypothetical **question, I'm just curious about your reaction!" Kaito said, holding up his hands in a placating gesture and Aoko relaxed her posture a bit.

She looked thoughtful as she went over the question in her mind. "Well, why are you leaving, hypothetically? I need to know why you left if you want to know how I'd react."

"Well, maybe you don't know why, what then?"

"Then I'd be angry! I'd stomp around and rage at everyone and go to your house and tear it apart for clues! You'd hide them behind that picture of your dad wouldn't you? So I'd check there first and then I'd check your room and then I'd check your mom's room until the whole house was destroyed and then I'd go check Hakuba's house and then Akako's house-." Aoko fumed and Kaito cut her off before she could get too into it.

"You'd check Akako's house before checking Keiko's house?" Kaito questioned.

"Well, you don't like Keiko, do you?" Aoko questioned back.

"So you think I like the witch?" he exclaimed.

"That's mean, and of course you like her, otherwise you won't talk to her so much!" Aoko reasoned.

Kaito sweatdropped. "Okay, so what if I only told you that was really important and then told you I couldn't tell you anything else, what then?"

Aoko pondered this for a moment. "Well, I'd still be kind of mad, and I'd probably still search your house, at least, though I'd leave Hakuba and Akako out of it, I suppose. But I think I'd mostly be worried, what could be so important you couldn't tell me?"

Kaito blanched slightly behind his Poker Face and changed the subject. "What would it take to keep you from vandalizing my house and traumatizing my poor mother? She'd have to clean it up all by herself without me around, you know?"

"Hmm." She said. "Well, I think you'd have to give me a good reason for leaving and promise you'd be back. If I could know those two things, I wouldn't want to look for clues to track you down with."

"What if I was going somewhere dangerous and couldn't promise I'd be back but I gave a really good excuse?" Kaito prodded.

"What kind of excuse?" Aoko said.

Kaito pretended to consider this for a moment. "Okay, how about this. What if, I was actually Kaitou Kid and I was fighting a massive underground crime organization that killed my father? And I and two detectives teamed up to defeat them and bring peace and justice, and one of the detectives' proper bodies, to all? What would you do then?"

Aoko paused. "So is it just you, as Kaitou Kid, and the detectives? No police officers?"

"Maybe one or two, if they can keep the secret."

"No one else?"

"Now that I think about it, I doubt the detectives would be able to make their girlfriends stay at home, so we might have to count them in. If we don't invite them they'll just sneak in and we'll be caught up in a hostage situation."

"Hmm, so it's you, two detectives, their girlfriends, and maybe a police officer or two?" Aoko inquired.

Kaito nodded. "Yeah, that's about right. So what would you do?"

"I'd come with you. You could invite me or I'd find my own way, I'd get Akako and Hakuba to help, they already think you're Kid so they'd be excited."

Kaito glared at her. "You would **not **come, do you know how dangerous that would be? Baka!"

Aoko glared back. "What? So the detectives can bring their girlfriends but you can't bring your best friend?"

"Those girls have martial arts training and they hang around crime scenes a lot with their boyfriends anyways. And they know how to use a gun!"

Aoko huffed. "Fine. I'll let you think you've one."

"Right, we'll see about that." The bell rang for class then. "Time for class!"

Kaito stood up and Aoko started to as well. "That was all just hypothetical, of course, right? You aren't really Kaitou Kid and there is no secret organization that killed your father, right? And you aren't actually leaving?"

Kaito grinned. "Of course not, it was all just hypothetical!"

Next week, Kaito was absent from school for several days.

Aoko sighed. "Akako-chan, Hakuba-kun, I need your help, I have to go catch Kaitou Kid..."


	2. Chapter 2

The Doom-Shadow fell over him and he resigned himself to death for the second time that night.

Still, he turned around.

Aoko glared at him, arms crossed and mop thrown over her shoulder like some sort of weapon-which it _was!_-and waited for him to stand and face her. He really wasn't looking forward to it.

He stood anyways, wincing as it pulled the hastily treated wound in his side. There was just no denying Aoko, even when she hadn't actually said anything to him.

"Hypothetical my _ass!_" she said, her voice hard as diamonds and he winced.

"I thought it was a clever way of telling you?" Kaito tried, reaching for his 'playful' voice and falling short. Aoko's face darkened.

Kaito knew that look, knew it better than his own face in the mirror. It was look that had always promised him pain. He watched the mop head with a growing wariness.

That's why he didn't see the real hit coming.

The force of her slap actually made him stumble back a little and he was so unbalanced and –damn, that hurt!- that he didn't stand a chance of regaining his balance when Aoko shoved him hard with both hands against his chest.

He looked up at her and her face, so full of real, actual fury for once, and attempted to stand again. This was going to be so hard…

"Aoko-" he started, only to be startled into silence again when Aoko pushed him back down to the ground before he could even get to his knees. Damn, his side hurt.

"Stay there." Aoko said, her voice deceptively level. "From now on, _you say the hell where I put you._"

Kaito blinked at her and she glowered at him.

"I don't need you to explain anything Kaito, between your half-assed hypothetical question and what everyone else has managed to tell me when they're not seeing to everyone's collective _gunshot wounds_, I think I have a good picture of what happened here." Aoko said.

Kaito was so confused right now.

"Wha-"

"Shut up." She said, sinking down to his level, though with a good deal more grace than he had, what with her pushing him down and all. "And while you're at it, let's get one thing straight here."

With that, Aoko grabbed the hair at the nape of his neck and yanked him into an angry kiss.

"Your ass is mine until further notice. And I don't like my things getting broken, so you better keep it in one damn piece. You got that? Until I say so, you aren't even allowed to breathe without my permission." She looked up and spotted a paramedic coming towards them, the same one that had been seeing to the loud Osakan fellow that Hakuba had been so unhappy to see.

She turned another glare on Kaito, who looked stunned and not quite there.

"Now, get in the damn ambulance, get your ass - or should I say my ass, since it officially belongs to me?- healed, and then after that, we're having a talk. And if you can behave yourself for that long, we're going to the movies afterwards."

With that, she stood up and walked away.

* * *

"Hey Kid, I heard your girlfriend dressed you down in front of everybody!" Heiji exclaimed a couple hours after he had his bullets removed and regained consciousness. (and after he got his own ass handed to him by Kazuha, of course.)

"Shut up." Kaito remarked sullenly from his own hospital bed.

"In fact, I heard she owns your ass now and ain't that interesting? Oi, Kudo, ain't that interesting that a police officer's daughter owns Kaitou Kid's ass?" Heiji called to Shinichi, who had been desperately completing an entire year's worth of homework while he was laid up in bed.

Still, with a question like that…Shinichi put down his math book. "I think that's terribly interesting, Hattori."

"I wonder whatcha are supposed to do with a thief's ass if ya own one?"

"Apparently, you drag it to the movies with you if it behaves." Kaito quipped, trying not to let the obvious baiting annoy him.

"Well, now ain't that just lovely?" Heiji said, his voice dripping sarcasm. "You hear that Kudo? If you ever come into possession of a thief's ass, take it to the movies!"

"I think I'll pass." Shinichi quipped dryly. "Now, shut your mouth so I can finish this work. I'd like to graduate with Ran, you know."

"Aww, you're no fun!"

* * *

"Aoko-chan, you sounded a whole lot like your father when you were talking to Kaito-kun!" Ran exclaimed as the girls made their way up to the boys' room.

Aoko shrugged. "What can I say? He pissed me off. Besides, I hated Kaitou Kid and he was putting himself in deliberate danger, not to mention he flat out lied to me. He needs to know whose boss."

"And what about the kiss?" Kazuha pressed.

"Well….." Aoko blushed. "It just seemed like a good way to make sure he knew I meant it."

"What? Meant what you said about owning his ass?" Kazuha said bluntly.

Aoko grimaced. "He'll think twice about running off into danger if he thinks that he'll be in trouble when he gets back. After all, I don't like my thinks to get broken or disappear or do anything I don't want them to do, generally."

"So when are you letting him off the hook?" Ran asked as they closed in on the correct room.

Aoko smiled wickedly as Ran's hand reached for the doorknob.

"Who says I'm going to?"

* * *

**Just a bit of a thank you to all my loyal reviewers. I realise its probably not exactly what y'all might've been thinking, I know it's not what I had in mind when I started out, but I like it.**

**(I also secretly attest that Aoko had been slipped a little bit of something by Akako to make her more aggressive in the fight and it hadn't worn off yet, but that's just me, you don't have to take it that way.)**

**Anyways, thanks again everybody! I love you all bunches and I miss you!**


End file.
